360 Degrees to Make the Cypher Complete: Rating The 2012 BET Cyphers
Max Bell finds the revulsion invigorating.
Another year. Another BET awards. Another round of ciphers. I give you my thoughts off the top of the dome. But really though, off the top of the dome. Seriously, I didn't write this, look at it, think about it, and then try to make it sound better or clever. Can you imagine how terrible it would be if I did? Exactly.
"Grand Hustle"
Trae Tha Truth - We get it. You've been rapping a long time.
Chip - Rap game Craig David.
Iggy Azalea - "We're not that into you." So meta.
B.o.B - Congratulations. You now carry Grand Hustle financially and lyrically.
T.I. - It's your record label, trouble man. It's yours.
"The True School"
Jean Grae - She came back on the fourth hit.
Sarkodie - They do it every year. Don't you know I can't read that fast?
Ab Soul - Giving the people what they want. Rap game Haile Selassie.
Talib Kweli - The day Frank Ocean goes to Chik-Fil-A is the day your next single makes it to the Billboard Top 40.
"The Raw"
JayBird the Purdi Boy - His name is JayBird the Purdi Boy
Hopsin - Really, they didn't invite you? Panorama City is scarier than your eyes.
Schoolboy Q - Yes. We know when Kendrick's album drops. You can still spit though.
Mac Miller - It's a like/hate thing. So right now, I like Miller and models wearing Iverson's.
Mystikal - Rap game Redd Foxx.
"Iron Mic"
RZA - We were already going to see your movie. But bong bong.
Angel Haze - If I choose to believe that you are 'not real,' then you aren't. That's from some school of philosophy, I think. Either way, knowledge dropped.
Joey BadA$$ - He might get there.
Drilky Graham - Self-promo t-shirt swag. His name seems like an amalgamation of the various monikers belonging to that Drake guy.
Childish Gambino - Sometimes.
A$AP Rocky - Only the "pretty motherfucker" would diss everyone in the cipher.
"The West Coast"
Xzibit - Hennessy needs to pay this man already.
YG - Bars for the ratchets.
Kurupt - That chair can't hold him.
E-40 - Apparently he has been a White House consultant since 2009.
DJ Quik - It's fair to say he's the best rapper/producer of all time from the left coast.
Kendrick Lamar - So we all agree that October 22 could very well become a national holiday, right?
Snoop Dogg - The lion hasn't lost it. And he still knows his left from his right.
"Ruff Ryders"
Murda Mook - He will be handing out ballots on November 6.
Cassidy - I already use your old CDs for fertilizer.
Eve - Please come back.
DMX - The FCC can't hold the dog. Grrrr. Bark. Grrr.