Greetings from the Royal Docks, where my wife is celebrating her 35th birthday. Let’s get into some quite delightful British jams.
Pozer, “Dulux Trade”
Imagine touching down in London and seeing Pozer out in Los Angeles. This is why “Chicken Shop Date” got cancelled. I’m going to let it slide because Croydon’s chosen one has a hit here. His flow wraps perfectly around a sealed AAAA scheme. The beat, produced by Bg!, KDj and Ra Tha Gawd, splices hallway saxophone wails between the ketamine club up top and the kickboxing gym in the basement. All three levels get blasted with carmine.
I thought that “tryna lick down one of these dunces” was the hardest line. That was until he says “my grandma told me I’m a tough head” two bars later.
My Guardian op-ed: I used to laugh at lads that love Dulux. Then I drank a pint of it myself.
163Margs, “Serena Williams”
While my countrymen mourn the U.S. Open’s degradation, 163Margs has the Nottingham baddies smashing overheads from his trap house. The full “Serena Williams” video drops next week, but the studio single is already laced up.
While Pozer throws jabs on the last entry, Margs counters on this one with hooks from the semi-crouch. He’s steely without stiffness, insulated by Kosfinger’s tight snare. This is the rare arrangement that demands face covers and high knees at the same time, with a Nico O’Reilly salute for Manchester Derby weekend.
My Guardian op-ed: Not all mums are the same. Just ask Serena Williams.
JayaHadADream, “How Come?”
I don’t care about rap’s grammar conventions—all that went out the window when my teenage self heard Common say “her head was gooder than the music.” Still, it’s awesome that Cambridge’s JayaHadaDream uses slew in closing out this verse.
Other goodness abounds in the 59-second loosie. The shot from Canopy Visuals has sedative, seductive color grading. The beat by Crafty893 is frozen velvet. Jaya sneers at “the dirty buggers, the stupid pricks” with S-tier intransigence. She calls out to Gaza, connecting with both her Irish-Jamaican lineage and her decision to quit teaching criminology. But yeah, she slew this one. The full context of that line won’t be printed here, but for those tuned in, it’s impossible not to hear.
My Guardian op-ed: I once stole ham-and-ketchup crisps from a Cambridge youth. Little Callum learned a valuable lesson.
Harry Powell and N3RD, Dizzee Rascal’s We Want Bass
The Boy in da Corner has traveled a long and complicated path. More than two decades ago, Dylan Mills broke through as the youngest Mercury prize winner to date. By the end of the aughts, he became a lead critic of the Tony Blair administration and a two-time UGK collaborator. He was honored with an order of chivalry in 2020. He was convicted for domestic assault in 2022.
Without public remorse and reparation on his end, I cannot endorse Dizzee Rascal as the emcee or protagonist of We Want Bass. I just want to acknowledge the album’s dual producers, who deserve better work in the years to come. N3RD and Powell push liquid chrome through a neon maze on “C U Dance.” They find overdrive with jungle breaks and wholesale bass on “The Baddest.” The “Foxtrot Oscar” beat might be an ergonomic miracle. I’m manifesting these two alongside JayaHadADream next.
My Guardian op-ed: Drum and bass? There’s only room for one in 10 Downing Street.
Tiny Boost, “Ready”
Now we come together, for this is our invitation to imagine Cockney Dipset. Would they wear Union Jack jumpers with matching bandanas? Maybe the British Cam says stuff like, “I keep the crumpets bumpin’, got the musket dumpin’.” While that one gets focus-grouped, let’s go to Tiny Boost somewhere out in Peckham.
He honors the Heatmakerz flip with double-barbell delivery and a recursive scheme worthy of Santana Man himself—“more ready, more ready than ever,” which I have no interest in proving otherwise. It might be novel to me right now, but hopping out of the Rolls Royce from the right-side driver’s seat just looks so much cleaner. Nary a “dirty bugger” in sight.
My Guardian op-ed: I thought that I understood Dipset. I’m still paying for my arrogance.
"Now we come together, for this is our invitation to imagine Cockney Dipset."
this is S.A.S. erasure!!!!
Ok, I guess it’s finally time to listen to UK rap. It’s good!